Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
