Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
