Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
