half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Randomize
