I'm drive I can fine osifer
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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