have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
