yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
