At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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