Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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