I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
