I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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