I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
