So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
