Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
