Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
