Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
