Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
