I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
you win again, gameday.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
