fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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