speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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