just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
