Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Even my vagina gasped.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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