First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
