please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
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