she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
