Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
