i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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