I wannas sexs uuuuu
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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