just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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