Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
