Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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