actually, I'm a sock model
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
