Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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