I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
