Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
