It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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