i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
