i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
whose parrot is this?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
