She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
