If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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