His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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