this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
