Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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