Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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