ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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