Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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