not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
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