chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
