Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
