Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Someone signed my nipple.
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