Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize