bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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