sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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